I had my first baby at a Midwife Led Unit (MLU), and ended up with a retained placenta and haemorrhaged 1.5 Litres of blood, because the environment and the timelines did not suit my baby and me

For my second baby I planned a home birth. However, the Lockdowns had wreaked havoc on the home birth and ambulance services, so home births were officially cancelled by my NHS Trust when I was 40 weeks. Due to the significant stress of the 40 minute drive to the hospital, again I haemorrhaged soon after the baby was born. I ended up with a room full of medics, an unwanted Managed Third Stage and all of the drugs. Again I lost approx. 1.5 Litres of blood, but I was fine to leave the hospital the next day. Also, I had tested positive for Group B Strep (GBS) during this pregnancy, but the baby was fine (I declined antibiotics)

For my third baby, because I was outside of guidelines due to the haemorrhages and possible GBS; I was determined that I was going to Freebirth alone at home if the NHS home birth midwives were unable to support me. This pregnancy was different, in that I only saw the local midwife Rachel each and every time. Rachel heard me and my history and understood why I was reticent with many of the NHS services. I declined the bump measurement and declined the Consultant appointments that appeared in the post for me. Rachel explained the purpose of these provisions, which did make me think that I shouldn't just blindly decline; but I was confident that I just needed to get the environment right this third time. Due to my previous experiences with Consultants I knew that they would simply recommend that I gave birth in hospital, not understanding how physiological birth worked - like I knew Rachel did

As an alternative to the hospital appointments, Rachel kindly arranged an appointment with the local Consultant Midwife. Rachel attended with my husband and supported me. We had a good discussion where the consequences of me bleeding out at home was clearly explained, but that they would try to support me to have the homebirth that I felt was right for me. Rachel and the Consultant Midwife said that they considered each case based on that woman's needs, and if I wanted a home birth, they would do everything within their power to support that.

When the day came for me to go into labour, my husband's call to Hospital Triage got through to the MLU, and from there to Rachel. Because she knew me, she agreed to go on call that night, and happily the Consultant Midwife was also able to come to support us. The contractions ramped up at 11pm, so Rachel got in the car. She arrived about 12.20am and baby was born beautifully and calmly by candlelight at 12:47pm. Rachel had sneaked into the house between contractions and had only monitored the baby's heartbeat once. She did not monitor me, as she knew that I did not feel that would be necessary if I looked well. When we were waiting for my first natural birth of a placenta, Rachel encouraged me calmly, and did not tell me how much time I "had left". For the first time, I did not haemorrhage at this birth, and it was 100% physiological. Only my husband and I touched Merryn until after the golden hour

Rachel had heard me and supported me and made herself available for me and my baby and the rest of my family. She did what I would expect a midwife to do, but what I understand is very difficult to put into practice in the big system. 

Merryn is a calm and joyful baby, he is well connected to me and a good breast feeder - I think a lot of this can be traced back to his beautiful, natural birth

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Evelyn